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We went through an entire packet of them that day I ended up getting a one-day suspension because the other kid got a bloody nose. It's late, not many people around, my son tells me he's gotta go to the bathroom. Later on at home, I ask him to tell Mom what happened at the garden, he looks at me, winks, and says he played on the train. Inti St Clair Getty Images.

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I'm drinking a beer, and set it down for a second to go to the bathroom. We are sitting in the living room BSing, when my son walks right up to her, sticks his hand into his diaper and pulls out a hand full of ashes and throws it on the ground. On his clothes, his hands, his face, even in his mouth. My dad picked me up from the office, and drove me around for a while and we talked about it. One of the areas is a maze with the entrance made out of a neat brick structure. I bring him into the bathroom, clean him up, change his clothes and jokingly tell him not to tell mommy he's 17 months, he knew like four words at the time. Little shit ratted me out to brush her teeth, something she doesn't like doing anyway.

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Inti St Clair Getty Images. What happens when mom isn't around. Explaining to my daughter that you can put them in your hand and head butt them to make them explode. Later on at home, I ask him to tell Mom what happened at the garden, he looks at me, winks, and says he played on the train. My wife and son 5 had the sense to abandon that stink-hole of a movie early on.

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Sarah from Ashburn Age: 22. Looking for an experienced man, hope for a passionate night)
Description: Explaining to my daughter that you can put them in your hand and head butt them to make them explode. Watching your five-year-old cast and say he's gonna catch 'the biggest mother fucking bitch fish' is hilarious. Dads are prone to doing ridiculous things when they're left to their own devices, but now their biggest secrets are in the open, thanks to a recent Reddit thread where fathers shared their top "don't tell mom" moments — which, obviously, is everything you want to be told. I feigned shock and horror and she said 'but you said it was okay This was during the first recess period of the day, so it wasn't even 9 a. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of 'sugar bugs' so could she please brush her teeth again. Both of us got sent to the principal's office and I literally spent the rest of the day there. Or your year-old correct the seven-year-old on her cussing that 'eew these moron worms bastard' doesn't make sense. She grabs her chair, puts it under the dresser I had set it on, and climbs up and grabs my beer. But really he told me that he was proud of me for defending myself, and even happier that I had won the fight.
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